


I'M HOME

by uchihas1000



Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: M/M, Torture, graphic description of violence, i made myself cry lmao, really angsty
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-04-15
Updated: 2016-05-30
Packaged: 2018-06-02 10:53:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,255
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6563383
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/uchihas1000/pseuds/uchihas1000
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“I’m here to inform you that your former team mate, Rank 1 Mutsuki, has not successfully arrived from his last mission, as he was captured by a member of Aogiri, which is yet to be identified.”<br/>Saiko’s lips trembled, eyes already filled. Urie froze, his fists tightened, biting his lips with guilt. It was happening again. It happened with his father, it happened with Shirazu. He promised himself he would not let another of his loved ones leave him. But in the end, it was happening with Mutsuki too.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> English is not my first language so excuse me for any misuse of words. Constructive criticism is always welcomed :)

Drip. Drip. Drip. Breath in. Breath out. His head fell on one side as his abdomen was bloody and bruised. He doesn’t remember where he is, at all, or who was the skinny figure in front of him. Another smack, and he is left breathless, trying to figure out how can air still fill his lungs up, as his ribs were almost broken.  
Every fist he gets, after he was unconscious for god- knows -how –long, brings him back to reality. All the bitter memories rush on his brain with the blood, as the parasitic events rewind on his mind, making him feel more and more pain. 

 

The room was humid, the metallic scent of blood was everywhere, like it had washed all the walls and ceiling. The coldness of the chains around his wrists were his only salvation, because his whole body was boiling, the wounds, the bruises, the anger. He hadn’t been eating for days, and the hunger he was feeling would be his second death sentence. His eye never stopped flashing red, where was reflected all the inhuman hunger and desire to kill. He loved it. He hated to admit it, but every time the hunger phase hit him, he would feel a kind of bliss he never had felt before. The tender flesh, the metallic taste, all of it. But as soon as his desires were fulfilled he would come back to reality remembering the pure being he once was, the same feminine voice ringing in his ear over and over again.” I’m here. I was never gone.” He tries to erase everything. It’s impossible. 

 

Torso had the same creepy thirsty smirk on his face, making Mutsuki, as in agony as he was feeling, find the strength to spit on that face. Torso’s breathless words form excitement after every hit were so nauseous, Mutsuki didn’t know how he would survive any longer. It was the same drill, Torso gives a smack, open a new wound, tastes the blood dripping, enters another ecstatic state and him, as broken apart as was, fills the suffocating air with hysteric screams, the ones which he had only read described in books. Feeling the burn on his abdomen, he tried hopelessly to break free for the chains which had injured his wrists and palms so much, they felt they were going to leave his arms and escape forever. The only thing he could do was distract himself with all the peaceful moments they had spent all together, as a family,in the chateau, as he was facing death .

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“I’m here to inform you that your former team mate, Rank 1 Mutsuki, has not successfully arrived from his last mission, as he was captured by a member of Aogiri, which is yet to be identified.”  
Saiko’s lips trembled, eyes already filled. Urie froze, his fists tightened, biting his lips with guilt. It was happening again. It happened with his father, it happened with Shirazu. He promised himself he would not let another of his loved ones leave him. But in the end, it was happening with Mutsuki too. This time he couldn’t dare to blame any of the figures standing all around him for what happened. He felt the guilt fill up his gut. Who was the one who had grew fond of the green-haired man after he had saved his life during the Auction Raid? It was him. The ones which promised he would always be by his side? Again him. Who was the one totally failing at it? Still him. He leaves the building to go back to the dull building he was now forced to call home, staring at the blank walls of Mutsuki’s room, the place where he was used to see him read, the place where they would usually sit and talk about whatever their heart felt like. He felt a nostalgic feeling taking him over. Ringing sounds of the young man’s laughter made him hate himself more. He was furious, exhausted, guilty as hell. There was a slight moment where his mind was imagining Mutsuki’s existence in the past, which made him punch the nearest wall in anger and disgust of how his being could really be so lowly as to give up so fast.  
That night he couldn’t even stay still, he would go to the training room and exhaust himself to death, a thing which Mutsuki never liked about him, then go out for a walk. He had to find a way to get near Mutsuki’s whereabouts. The next day he arranged a meeting with Matsuri, to discuss a way to rescue all the Investigators alive in Rue island, but Matsuri wasn’t even convinced there was any.  
“I’ve been informed that Rank 1 Mutsuki was captured by a ghoul and we know next to nothing about his location and condition”  
“I’m aware of that”  
“As the squad leader of Quinx, I propose that we should go to the Rue island and search for him as soon as possible.”  
“That’s not going to happen. We can’t afford to lose more of our men. Besides, I’m pretty sure he’s dead by now.” As these words left Matsuri’s mouth, Urie’s blood was boiling from anger, as he hits the table with all his will, making Matsuri raise his eyebrow cynically.  
“I still can’t believe how we afford to give up on such good investigators in such crucial time when we need intel the most, Associate Special Class Matsuri. Besides, we are not certain of Rank 1 Mutsuki’s death already. (You feaking bastard).”  
In that very moment Matsuri grabs him by the collar, shoving him on the nearest wall.  
“You brat, do you even know how things work around here ? Those Investigators going there are prepared for death, it’s part of their duty. We can never give much importance to a single life which is already on the verge of death. I suggest you, Rank 1 Urie should get your head out of your ass and try focusing on your work instead of being distracted by worthless things.”  
“ It’s a pitty people around are so unfortunate to be under your orders, Associate special Class Matsuri.”  
“You were a disappointment after all. “  
“That’s good to hear.(I couldn’t care less). ” Urie pushes his hand away form his collars, slams the door shut past him, burning with anger. He goes straight to Saiko, which was at that time training with the other new Quinx. He tells her everything, she has the right to know after all. He tells her about Mutsuki’s possibility of being alive and Matsuri’s disapproval on getting men to find him on Rue island. Saiko was raging so much, Urie had to forcefully stop her from entering Matsuri’s office. In addition to her desire to kill someone tonight, she had an idea. They would undertake an independent mission themselves. They were both ready for this.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“We will never make it Yonebayashi, we are disadvantaged in number. And we can’t get anyone into this trouble either, but… it’s our obligation to save him. We have to. I feel this is the only right way to do it. Shirazu would want this too. ”  
They wouldn’t care less about the consequences of all this. Their aim right now was to save Mutsuki at all costs. It was something instinctive which they needed to fulfill or else they would regret it for the rest of their lives. He was the source of light around the house when they all lived together. At first Urie found it hard to understand how can someone be so pure living in a twisted world like this. He always though there was something more to the young man. He would give off smiles in the worst situations. Be stoic when no one would. Maybe the death of a comrade or failure in a mission were not enough to break this men. Maybe he has experienced much worse that these unfortunate events, something that has made him live his life at the fullest because he cannot have two of them. Maybe even Urie could not fully understand him. He always concealed behind that smile of his. Smile that has saved Urie’s life most of the times. 

They told the new Quinx squad members what their situation was at the moment, they even offered to help but they couldn’t afford to get them involved too. They promised, they would not say a word. This was not what concerned them at the moment.  
They decided to leave for Rue island, with a boat they happened to find. They had their ghoul costumes on so they would fit in with the situation in the island. Urie had this really bad gut feeling, but he decided to not listen to it. He felt a really bad vibe emerging from the island. It was Aogiri’s hiding place after all. They decide to split, since the island was not that big for the two of them to observe everything. They also had communication tool to help with each-other’s whereabouts.  
Urie spots a building which was all covered in wallflowers and was rather destroyed, but it still stood stoic after many years of sheltering ghouls. Then he skips a heartbeat. There was a rather distant but familiar voice he was hearing, that grew louder and louder, they were agonizing screams. They screamed for help, which would never come. The screaming voice would crack to take a breath. It was experiencing something so physically and psychologically overwhelming, Urie was completely stunned and forgot to even breathe for a whole minute. He takes a few steps closer to the building, where he can find where the agonizing screams were leaking from. He encounters some ghoul which were too indifferent to even smell Urie being a half ghoul. The scream grew nearer and nearer. Then his nose, which lately would catch smells he never could, caught a familiar smell, the smell of another half ghoul, a smell that calmed him in every part of the chateau. He follows the traces, grew nearer and nearer the source. There’s also another ghoul, no two. He spotted them both and then green hair, which was all bloody and messy. The sight was a complete shock to him. At that time, Mutsuki was unconscious, completely pale, all sweaty and a real mess. His abdomen was completely bare, looking really brutally wounded, half recovering, half leaking. His head falling in one side, makes a stagnant move where his face was revealed. His lips were shaking, breathing heavily, but his eyes could not open, they were so exhausted from the long nights of constant torture, they had almost decided to never open ever again. His face was different, the was no tenderness or even color on the cheeks, the forehead, the lips. Urie waited till the ghoul would leave to enter the rather enormous room, filled with a tense air, bloody smell and screams which had lost their way on midair.  
Mutsuki, as dull as he was feeling, not a living cell in him, could sense someone entering, but there was no sinister aura around it, is was something rather familiar on the pattern of steps. He makes the effort to raise his head and try working his eyelids against gravity. Then he seen a purple-haired man, with sad glassy eyes, which he can’t make out at first and when he realizes, he lowers his head in shame bites his lips and some teardrops wet the filthy floor. Why was he crying? Because he was completely bare? Because he knew Urie could not get alive out of the building, or worst get through the same thing he did? I didn’t matter anymore. He was there and all he could do was admire his face for the last time as a blessing from above to make the painful days less dark. He thought he was hallucinating, he wanted it to be a hallucination. But no hallucination can touch you like a really being can. 

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Urie hesitates no longer, as he gets near Tooru, trying so hard to break him free with bare hands form the suffocating chains around his wrists, neck, legs. He can’t waste more time, so he uses his kagune to destroy them and catches Tooru as he falls, who was unable to even stand on his feet. Mutsuki was constantly whispering breathlessly “Urie you need to leave, ple…please lea..leave..He’s g-going to ki..ll you”  
“Who is the bastard?”  
“It’s Torso. I beg y-ou, you can’t… see me like this, you’ll think… I’m a hypocrite” Then he stops, trying to maintain his breathing normally.  
“Tooru, we’ll get you out of here, I’m here.” Urie gives him his cloak, covering his back, as he was only on his binder. Mutsuki felt his muscles burning, they were regenerating, but on a really slow rate, making him unable to even walk. He knew he had no chance of escaping form there. He doesn’t remember when he ate for the last time, he felt something corroding him from the inside, like a creature wanting to find its way out of his gut. His eye was flashing red, an inhuman hunger was overwhelming him, blood plumping harshly on him veins. He eyes Urie’s milky tender skin, well-built arms, the muscular curves on his back. He can’t be thinking this. Urie is someone precious to him. There’s no way he wants to …?!.... take a bite?!  
“~AWww come on Tooru ~” It’s the voice he always tries to avoid.  
”It’s just a bite. It looks so delicious. “ The tempting voice he hates the most.  
“ You love that taste the most don’t you~~” Mutsuki was now biting his arm, stopping himself from any temptation of the moment, tears rolling down his cheeks, bumping on each-other at the bottom of his chin.  
Urie has experienced this situation before. He was feeling completely powerless, unable to even take his kagune out. He needed to feed on something. He felt Shirazu stop him, he knew it would be painful, but he had no choice. And he was now watching Mutsuki struggling too. He couldn’t let him deal with this alone like he would do. It must have been painful for him too. Without thinking any longer, he takes his shirt off, signaling Mutsuki to have a bite. Mutsuki would retreat as far as he could from the temptation, but you could never escape from the hunger of a ghoul without satisfying it.  
“It must have been agonizing, dealing with this alone. You taught me how to not shoulder all the burden myself, but yet here you are. You would always radiate with that smile of yours, yet there’s always something you would hide underneath all of that. I know it’s been hard but please, let me help too, let me pay you back.” Urie takes his kagune out to comfort him.  
Mutsuki grabs the shoulder slowly.”I’m sorry” is all that Urie heard before Tooru dug his teeth brutally on his flesh, as he shed some tears. Urie feels his teeth pierce through his skin.  
Whipping his lips from the excess blood, his abdomen and legs start to heal at a faster rate. He was now able to stand on his legs, and even take his kagune out. Urie helped Mutsuki stand, as his whole body was healing. While they were leaving the room in a rush, Mutsuki senses Torso coming.  
“He’s here.”  
(“He’ll freaking pay for what he’s done, that asshole.) 

 

~~~~~~~~~

Torso has developed a rather creepy 6th sense where he can feel any kind of Mutsuki’s movement literally everywhere. He obviously senses another half ghoul near Mutsuki, which drives him insane since he needs him all for himself (a.n : I can’t believe I wrote this uugh).  
Then on the way out they both sense Torso already waiting for them on the gate, who was literally out of his mind, because “his” exquisite half-ghoul had been disturbed by another filthy being. Mutsuki unfortunately had none of his knifes left, so he could only use his kagune. They clash with the ghoul who looked hungrier than ever. The ghoul they are watching right now is not the one they had the chance to fight a couple of years ago. He was more brutal and a lot more insane, his kagune was a lot stronger.  
It’s Urie’s chance now to kill the maniac who had been after Mutsuki for a whole year or even more. His blows were filled with anger, disgust and a desire to chop the filthy being into pieces, make him pay, feel the same pain Mutsuki did, take his life in the most inhuman way. He was feeling the same euphoria to kill, like that time in the auction raid, but this time he was in control, he knew what he was doing. But it was not enough, Torso gives him a blow, crashing him with the nearest wall. Then Torso makes a made a fast turn, but Mutsuki’s kagune could not prevent Torso from jerking him form his neck.  
“You know, Tooru, I was never able to find out why I’m so drawn to you.It’s those eyes, they’re like mine”  
“Mutsuki don’t listen” Urie says as he gets up, and gives Torso a blow, as he was thrown feet away form them.  
“Are you okay?”  
“…”Mutsuki was blankly staring at the ground. Me??... Same look in my eyes??... as HIM??!! He lost his surrounding but Urie’s shake made his come back to reality. “We got to get moving. He heals fast.”  
They were leaving the area, Torso got up again, but suddenly a shadow covers him form above. And a really familiar kangune pierces through the ghoul. It was massive and it was fast. It couldn’t have been other than Saiko. As the ghoul falls to the ground breathless, she runs towards Mutsuki and hugs the men tight, a bead of tear on her chick, she was happy to see Mutsuki alive. They were all together as before, Shirazu looking at them smiling from above and they almost felt he was with them there too. They were too attached to one another to leave one of their family die for nothing. They couldn’t let another one go too.  
They surprisingly find the same boat that got them in the island, untouched. They get on the boat, get out of the island as soon as possible. It was hard for Mutsuki to concentrate, he would emotionlessly stare on the floor of the boat. He was spacing out, completely shook by everything that had happened these past few weeks. A shiver ran down him spine as Torso’s words repeated on his head, really familiar ones. However, he was not alone anymore, Urie was there, smiling at him sadly, calming the tension created on his muscles which were still weak form the beating. It was hard for Mutsuki to comprehend how they were still with him, who was a mere liar, as he would call himself. But he would not see any sign of disappointment or disgust on their eyes, but rather than that, comfort, the kind he had felt a long time ago radiating from his family member’s smiles.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Mutsuki was sent to rehabilitation to fully recover physically and mentally, as he often would wake up breathlessly, breaking free form the usual nightmare we had. He was home now, but he still felt Torso’s hand around his neck, it was disturbing, and it still hurt despite him being probably on the verge of death. However, there was always a bright light in his hospital room, reaching for his hand to grab it and never let go, bring him books to break the agonizing monotony which would usually force him to sleep and wake up on nightmares and covered in sweat.  
However, Urie had promised him he would stay by his side always and Urie was a man of his word.  
“I see you’ve woken up. WELCOME BACK TOORU” Mutsuki could not hold back a smile, as a few tears roll down his cheeks. “I’M HOME. ”  
~~~~~


	2. Side by Side

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mutsuki needs some time to recover. Urie can't see him suffer alone.

It was good to see the chateau free from tension, moving on and working hard to not let anyone escape this world yet. Even though Sasaki wasn’t there for them, as their mentor, as their parental figure to guide them, they could cope with that. All of the loss in this house made no one forget their true goals and lose their reason from the claws of darkness.  
Mutsuki was now in a good physical state, enough to be living in the chateau and carry out his daily duties. With Urie as the squad leader, things were a little more demanding, but he already knew what it felt to work with him under the same roof. He also got to know better with the new Quinx members, which were as hard working as he thought they were and got along pretty well, as they helped him recover.   
However, there were moments when he would be reminded of the things he wanted so badly to forget and recover form. But it was merely impossible. Once those thought crawled from the back of his head, he would lose trace of time, forget how to sleep, because he was too scared of those memories which hunted him day and night. He would deny any food, because he felt disgust, from himself, what he had become. Ghost-like fingers traced up his neck, slightly tickling the flesh and then firmly squeezing till he lost his breath. He would feel the need to stay a whole week isolated, where only he and his demons could have a tea party.  
He would hear knocks on the door, once ,twice, there were also mentioning of his name, calling him from the outside, but he felt the only world he would feel he belonged was his room, dark, only tiny rays of light escaping the curtains.   
Sometimes, even Urie’s help would not do. He did what he could to help, but Mutsuki had to cope with some demons only he knew. They would crawl to him and never let go for some time, then disappearing to return when they needed to entertain their souls again. However Mutsuki was the one left there, helpless to the darkness of his room as he tried to move on. But the aftermath of all that would not disappear its traces form his mind.   
Urie could see somehow himself projected on Mutsuki, the time where he would isolate himself completely form the rest of the world, trying to fight his demons too. Hating everyone, wishing everyone who got in his way death. However, Mutsuki was the one who cracked the bubble he used to escape the world everyone lived and be only on his own. He taught his what being loved felt like, after his father’s death. Somehow made him realize that no one deserves to be alone and that fighting battles on ones own is not the right thing to do. He would feel annoyed as to why Mutsuki cared so much, but felt that some part of him missed when Mutsuki left. His nightmares had the same scenario, him being devoured by his weaknesses which would take human forms and making him feel more and more worthless thus making him work to self-destruction. After some time though, he felt in his dreams as he was not so alone anymore, because the warmth of Mutsuki’s body was his salvation from the nightmares. There were times when he would cry on his sleep, but at least there was someone to cry on, comfort him, make him feel safe on someone’s arms again.   
It was his turn now, he could not let Mutsuki cope with the same battle he did alone. Mutsuki was a different case though, he acted as if nothing really happened. He would give off excuses like oversleeping, reading, “taking care of some documents”, a forced smile taking over his face. The one thing that annoyed Urie were those smiles at times like this. He was good at faking. But Urie could see through fake ones too.   
When all the other Quinx went to sleep, the chateau was only filled with Urie’s brush against the canvas while Mutsuki’s room was in silence as always. After some time decides to knock on his door to make sure everything is fine. After his knock was ignored, he decides to enter the room, finding a sleeping Tooru at his desk is files scattered on his desk, while he was breathing like he had ran a marathon, a really distraught face spotting a single tear streaming down his face. Even if he was dozing off, his nightmares invaded that little time he could “rest”.  
Urie calmly approaches him, slightly whispering his name, as Tooru breathlessly wakes up. He eyes Urie as he now had him on his chest, trying to calm him down, hugging all the fear and anxiety out of him. Mutsuki could not fake a smile no longer, nor escape his arms, as he tugged on his shirt and let all the tears circulating his eyes for so long, escape together with all the poison that had been accumulating on his heart. He was shaking like a newborn baby, letting his tears wet his shirt. There were no words, just silent crying as Urie’s warmth tried to reach for his heart. Just like that, overwhelmed by his crying he felt asleep by Urie’s attempts to calm him, covering him in kisses.

**Author's Note:**

> All i can say is im sorry :'))))


End file.
